It's Not OK to Hit Your Partner. Ever.

I'm still working on the reproductive technology series, a post on surrogacy will be coming out next week. If you have specific questions or thoughts on surrogacy, let me know!

I'm writing this post because the theme for this week seems to be domestic violence. I don't mean an official day to raise awareness or a special month, I just mean that it seems to be coming up over and over again in my work life.

And you know what? I'm irritated. Do I really need to write a blog post about this? Doesn't everyone know that hitting people is wrong? Based on my experiences this past week, a lot of people aren't getting the message. So, I'm going to break it down for you.

It's not OK to hit your partner.

Even if they lie to you.

Even if they cheat on you.

Even if they didn't lie to or cheat on you but you think they did.

Even if they "set you off."

Even if they "disrespect" you.

Even if you're drunk or high.

Even if the baby has been crying and you're stressed out.

Even if you lose your job.

Even if they spend more money than you think they should.

I could go on, but I think you're getting the drift. It is not OK to hit your partner.

(Exception, because this is the internet and someone will bring it up, if you or someone else is in danger and you're acting protectively that's a different story).

Now, let's move on to topic #2. It's not OK for your partner to hit you.

Even if you lie to them.

Even if you cheat on them.

Even if you didn't lie to or cheat on them but they think you did.

Even if you "set them off."

Even if you "disrespect" them.

Even if they're drunk or high.

Even if the baby has been crying and they're stressed out.

Even if they lose their job.

Even if you spend more money than they think you should.

If you have been hit, slapped, shoved, punched, choked, or thrown, you need to get out. You need to seek safety. If you have friends or family that you have been cut off from, call them. If you don't feel like you can leave, call the police. If you don't think you can trust the police, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They can help.

I know, it's harder than it sounds. So much harder. You're strong. You can do this.

What if the abuser promises it will get better? Wouldn't it be worth sticking around to see if everything gets better or goes back to the way it used it be? No. It isn't. Maybe he says he's sorry. Maybe she promises she'll never do it again. You know what? They will. It will happen again, and again, and again. Are they seeking counseling? Are they taking steps to protect you? If not, then it's just empty promises and assurances. It will happen again.

Are you a victim? You've been hurt, yes. Physically and emotionally. I know it's harder to get out and leave than it sounds. So much harder. You know what? I believe in you. You're strong. You can do this. When you do it, when you take that step, you're not a victim anymore. You're a survivor.

The first step might be te